At a speed dating event on “Dead Like Me,” Daisy Adair is confronted by an angry dater who says without provocation, “You despise men, don’t you? You come here because you hate men. You’re a beautiful woman who hates men. All the women I know hate men.” At which point she responses, “No, they just hate you.”
This man had probably been rejected countless times by beautiful women and he was understandably angry. Unfortunately, his way of recommending himself to women was to cut them down and cut down his competition. He also told her that one of the other daters had a sexually transmitted disease. What seems obvious to us, that anger pushes people away and is a very poor way of connecting with people you are interested in, is lost on men like this dater.
Sadly, when you believe something, such as “all women hate men,” it is very easy to find other men who support your belief. Some angry men spend hours in online chat rooms and forums discussing how awful women are. This becomes their “Group Think.”
Many years ago when I worked with drug abusing teenagers, one thing I heard repeatedly from them was “Everybody in my school is getting high.” I believe that they thought this was true. Their Group Think was that all the kids were doing it and they had plenty of people to back up their behavior. The reality was that all the kids they were hanging with were getting high. Their hazy, drug-filled world was pretty small, but it was the world as they had come to know it.
Similarly, whenever men are rejected by women and they become angry and defensive, they increase their chances of repeated rejection. Rejection becomes their reality. It is hard to get out of this Group Think, especially if you continue to hang around others who reinforce the idea that women are all evil heart-breakers.
Daisy Adair hit the nail on the head when she said, “No, they just hate you.” How is a woman to like a man who immediately attacks her without knowing anything about her? How is that man to stop the rejection when he is behaving in such a way that is sure to get him rejected?
If he were to realize that his behavior is self-defeating and bringing on the very rejection he seeks to avoid, he might stand a chance. What he does not know is keeping him stuck. If you recognize your behavior in this article, you may be ready to do something different. Anger will always create a barrier between you and someone you are interested in pursuing.
Are you tired of the anger and resentment toward women? Are you interested in doing something different? Are you ready to learn how to attract women you are interested in? “Facilidating: Dating Made Easy for Men” can help.